"thoust suck" - wise words by Arie [Bachelorette Recap #5]

Okay, lovelies...I'm back and ready to deliver with my Bachelorette re-cap!

I was super excited about this episode for many reasons, two of the most important being...

1. Sean got a one-on-one

2. Kalon's dumb, selfish, arrogant butt was finally given the boot. [Insert very loud, obnoxious "hallelujah"]

I don't know about y'all, but for me, the season had kinda been lacking in the excitement and drama area. And while we should all hope for a drama-free journey for sweet Emily to find love, it's reality TV. So we need drama. We're terrible people, aren't we? Shame. 

Anyway, instead of watching it with Jo this week (she and her bf, Pierce, were celebrating their four year anniversary...love y'all!), I headed over to Greenville to have a girl's night with my brother's gf, Kait, and we had so much fun! It started out at Buffalo Wild Wings, followed by froyo (duh), and then The Bachelorette! 

Perfect night any day of the week, if you ask me. :)

Okay, I've kept y'all waiting long enough. Let's get this show on the road.

First up: Sean's one-on-one date

Let me just get this out really quickly.

YAYYYY! 

I was so excited y'all. Sean has very quickly and effortlessly become my favorite. Not only he is drop dead amazingly handsome, but he is just so genuine. And he's not afraid to show it. I love how often he talks about his parents' love and how much he wants to emulate that (...with Emily ;)). He is so humble and sweet and compassionate and I just love him.

And I just loved their date. It was simple, which I will say again, is how I think they should be. It's easy to fall in love with someone when you're scaling mountains and bungee jumping and swimming with sharks, but this was a normal date that anyone could go on and that's how it should be. 

Double-decker bus tour, walking through London, taking pictures (kissing) in front of Buckingham Palace, and having dinner in a prison. 

Okay, maybe that last part wasn't so normal, but you get the picture. 

 Got me...

Why yes, Sean, I most certainly will. ;)

Alright, enough gushing over Sweet Sean. 

Moving on: the group date

I gotta be honest with y'all. I kinda lost interest in the actual "date" part of the date. I found it extremely boring. Sorry, I'm not sorry producers. I'm just not a theatre and drama buff and just thought it was a little..stupid. However, I do see the reasoning in Emily's choosing this date. She said she wanted to see the guys be able to let go and just make fun of themselves because that's how you have to be when you have a young child, which is very true. So points for her in that sense, but I still think they could've picked a different date.

Anyway, someone should really joust Ryan right off of his high horse. I'm past irritated, leaning more towards utterly disgusted. He is so cocky and just all-around annoying. Picking on poor Arie for having to play a woman....grow up already, Ryan!! 

And of course, as the producers would have it, Ryan is chosen to be Romeo. I call foul play. But nonetheless, he was pretty funny..once you got past his arrogance about playing the part. 

 However, he didn't have anything on Arie who totally pleased Emily with how much he "let go" of himself and just had fun with it. He had me rolling. And when he made the headlining comment about Ryan? I fell in love all over again. "Hey Ryan, thoust suck". Yes, Arie, he does. And don't worry, Em's got her eyes way more focused on you.

 

Now, on to my favorite part: the downfall of Kalon. 

Oh, I've been waiting for this day since...a few weeks ago. Anyway, it finally happened Monday night and it was all I could do not to laugh when Miss Emily layed into his selfish butt. 

Get 'em, girl.

 I think we could all tell that Kalon was bad news bears from the first night when he tried to be all Mr. Suave and swoop in on a helicopter. Personally, I wasn't that impressed. Nobody likes a show-off, buddy. And in case you hadn't heard, nobody likes hearing their kid referred to as "baggage", either.

I mean, c'mon, dude. Use some common sense. 

His pitiful defense also had me doubling over in laughter. Kalon, you got caught. You're a total d-bag and now everyone knows it. You should've just left on your own and allowed Emily to spare her pretty little mouth from saying that dirty little word. 

 Yes, Kalon..you are very screwed...up. Only a seriously screwed up person would apply to be on the single mom season of the Bachelorette and refer to her kid as baggage. 

Serious kudos to Emily for standing her ground and handling things as 'graceful' as she possibly could. She is such a strong lady and I admire her greatly. 

And as for my thoughts on her disappointment in the guys' not telling her before then, I agree with her on some levels. I see how she would be disappointed and how it would make her question their intentions, BUT at the same time..I would expect her to understand the whole "not wanting to talk bad about others because then it makes you look bad and it starts drama" syndrome that is so often evident in Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons. Emily/Ben/Courtney, Ali/Jake/Vienna, William/Ashley H./Ben C. ...need I say more? Didn't think so.

Bottom line..I'm glad Kalon's gone! And glad he was gone before the rose ceremony so she didn't have to hug him and pretend that she was sad that he was leaving. ;)

Next up: Jef's one-on-one date.

While Jef isn't my absolutely favorite, I do love him and think that he, besides Sean, is probably the most genuine person there. He is so into Emily (even though he hadn't shown it up until now) and I think he has a good head on his shoulders. His outfits just REALLY throw me for a loop sometimes. But I generally try to not judge a book by it's cover SO, I still like him.

Once again, I thought the first part of their date was a little....stupid. 

Ok, A LOT stupid. Etiquette lessons? Really, producers? REALLY? You guys need some help in the date planning department.

Yowzers.

Bottom line, Jef is super sweet and he thinks Emily is his "fairy tale princess" and..drumroll please...

HE FINALLY KISSED HER!!!!!

Ooooh, I can't believe it. 

Why yes, I was just quoting T-Pain. 

Even though he's not my pick for the final guy, I appreciate Jef's genuineness and how much he cares for Emily's happiness! Sweet guy.

Lastly: the rose ceremony

Nothing too dramatic going on here, guys. Except for the fact that she lets it come down between Arie and Alejandro because she's so disappointed that Arie didn't tell her about Kalon sooner that she makes him sweat a little. 

Ding Ding.

I think that's the only sign we need to know that she is the most interested in Arie, which is already evident by their super passionate kisses and how much she talks about him. 

But obviously, Arie does get the final rose and poor, sweet Alejandro is sent back to his suspicious mushroom farm. 

Looks like you're on your own, buddy. 

Did you guys predict that it was Kalon who referred to Ricki as baggage? Do you agree with Em making Arie sweat a little? Do you like Sean or Jef more? Let me know!!

Well, that's all I have guys! Hope you enjoyed my slight attempt at being funny!

Have a fab hump day, y'all! xo